LSU & Cajun Humor Page

Cajun and Boudreaux Jokes

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux at the Pierre Part Store

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went to the anniversary sale at the Pierre Part store to get their free hot dog and Barq’s root beer and hear the band play. While there, they decided to register for the door prize drawings in every department. They were especially excited when both their names got picked for the top 5 finalists in the Hardware Department, since the grand prize was a new crawfish burner and #3 washtub.

Well the judges pulled a name out of the hat for 3rd prize, a hand carved cypress paddle, and that went to T-Hen from down on Bayou Carne. "Dat’s okay," says Boudreaux. "It just means we’re both still in da runnin’ for da big prize."

Mrs. Gautreaux from Little Grand Bayou won second place, a brand new frog net and headlight combo. Thibodeaux gives Boudreaux a high five and says, "Dat makes us 2-to-1 favorites of winning now. You catch da crawfish and I’ll buy the beer! "Dis one’s in da bag."
Then the judge announces the grand prize . . . Mike somebody who stopped by for gas on his way thru town driving home to Alabama. Well, the boys were feeling pretty sad and dejected, but at least they didn’t go away empty handed. Each was given a consolation prize - - a brand new toilet brush.

About a week goes by, and they meet up at the Rainbow Inn for a cold one (or two) and a friendly game of Boo-ray, and Boudreaux asks, "Well, ma friend, how you like your prize?" Thibodeaux answers, "It’s okay, I guess. That long curved handle makes it easy to get everything clean underneath without bending over. And the little rope on the handle is good to hang it on a nail right next to the toilet . . . but I don’t know . . . I guess I’m just old fashioned and would still prefer to use paper myself."

Boudreaux takes another sip of his Jax, looks at Thibodeaux and says, "Pouyaille! I know what you mean, cher. Mo fet konmprann."

[Thank you Mike Smith for submitting this one]
 

Taking a Train Trip

3 Cajuns and 3 Texans are taking a train to attend a conference. At the station, each Texan buys a ticket, but they notice that only 1 Cajun buys a ticket.

"Don't you all need tickets?" they ask. "Mais Non" reply the Cajuns, "One is more dan enough, boo." Once they board the train, the Texans take their seats and notice that all 3 Cajuns cram themselves into a toilet. As the conductor passes through the car, he knocks on the toilet door and says: "Ticket, please." The door cracks ever so slightly, a hand passes out a ticket, and then the door quickly closes.

"Ahhh... very clever" think the Texans.

After the conference, the 3 Cajuns and the 3 Texans are again at the train station for the return trip. Since the Texans are now so 'money-wise', they smirk as they only purchase 1 ticket....but then they notice that the Cajuns don't buy a ticket at all.

"How will you get back without even a single ticket?" they ask. "Mais, we don need dat, us on de back trip!" say the Cajuns. Once they board the train, the 3 Texans cram themselves into the largest toilet (naturally), and do the 3 Cajuns ease into another toilet. As the train begins to move away from the station, one of the Cajuns leaves the toilet and knocks on the door of the Texans' toilet, saying "Ticket, please."

Come Hell or High Water

One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.

Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come.

Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the way back to the house. It kept floating away from the house, then back in.

Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house, then back again?"

Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband; I told him he was going to cut the grass today come Hell or high water!"

Boudreaux Marks the Spot

One day Boudreaux and Thibodeaux decide to go out to the basin to do some fishing. So they go down to the dock and rent them a real nice pirogue (cajun canoe), get all the bait they need, pack up the pirogue, and go on their way. Well, they try all day long at all of the good spots that they can find, but don't catch a single one. Finally, Boudreaux turns to his partner and says, "Thib, mais dis is ridiculous. We've been here all day and tried every spot we know of and we still haven't caught a single fish. Let's try one more spot. If we don't catch a ting, then we're leaving." So the two go to one more spot on the basin, and what do you know, they start catching fish left and right. In fact, they caught their limit, the boat was full...

Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and asks, "Thib, pass me dat piece of chalk over dere." Thibodeaux replies, "Now Boudreaux, what the hell are you gonna do with a piece of chalk?!" and hands Boudreaux the chalk. Boudreaux reaches over the side of the pirogue and marks a big X and answers, "Mais Thib, I'm gonna mark this spot on the side of the pirogue so dat the next time we come out here we can remember where to catch all dees fish!" Thibodeaux turns to him and says, "Mais dat's the STUPIDEST ting I never heard Boudreaux!! How you know we gonna rent the same boat next time!!!"

Boudreaux's Baptism

Boudreaux, drunk as usual, stumbles into a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by de river. He walked down into de water an stood nex’ to de preacher.

De minister turns and notices de drunken Boudreaux an’ says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

Boudreaux replies, "Yesh, Your Honor, I shur am!"

De minister dunks Boudreaux under de water and pulls him right back up.” Have you found Jesus?" he asked.

"Nooo, Your Highness, I shur dint!" Boudreaux said. Den de preacher dunks him under for a little bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"

Boudreaux shouted "Noooo, Your Majesty, I shur dint!"

Disgusted, de preacher holds Boudreaux under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My good man, have you found Jesus YET?"

Boudreaux wipes his eyes and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

Boudreaux and the Texan

Boudreaux once had a job as a taxicab driver in Baton Rouge. One day, he picked up a Texan on his way to the airport. When they passed by the LSU football stadium, the Texan said "What's that?"

Boudreaux said, "Dat's Tiger Stadium."

The Texan said, "How long did it take y'all to build it?"

Boudreaux said, "Mais, about five years."

The Texan said, "Oh, we've got a bigger one in Austin that only took one year."

As they passed the state capitol, the Texan asked again, "What's that building?"

Boudreaux said, "Dat's the state capitol".

"And how long did it take y'all to build that?"

Boudreaux said, "About three years."

The Texan said, "We've got one in Austin that only took six months."

Boudreaux had just about enough of this, you know. Then they drove past the Mississippi River Bridge.

The Texan said, "How long did it take y'all to build that bridge?"

Boudreaux said, "I don't know. It wasn't there this morning."

Boudreaux & the Devil

Boudreaux died and was on his way down to Hell. In anticipation, the Devil turned up the thermostat to make it extra warm for Boudreaux. When Boudreaux arrived, the Devil asked, "Hey Boudreaux, how do you like the heat down here?"

Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's just fine. It reminds me of Bayou PonPon in July."

That made the Devil mad. That night, he turned the thermostat up all the way it could go. Man it was hot! When Boudreaux woke up, the Devil asked him, "NOW how do you like it down here?"

Boudreaux says, "Mais, it's fine. It reminds me of August on Bayou Lafourche."

As you might expect, that made the Devil all the more mad. Well, that night, he turned the thermostat down all the way it could go! The whole place frosted over. Icicles started forming from the rafters. When Boudreaux woke up, the Devil asked him, "How you like it NOW, Boudreaux?"

Boudreaux, shivering, through blue lips, says, "Mais cher, I'm one happy Cajun!"

The Devil was infuriated! He yelled, "What do you mean you're one happy Cajun?!!"

Boudreaux, still shivering says, "The Saints done won the Superbowl!"

Boudreaux Daughter's Engagement

Boudreaux's daughter brings home her new fiancé to meet Boudreaux & Clotile. After dinner, Clotile tells Boudreaux to find out about the young man. Boudreaux invites the fiancé to the back room for a drink.
"So what are your plans?", Boudreaux asks the young man.

"I am a scripture scholar.", he replies.

"A scripture scholar. Hmmm.", Boudreaux says, "Dats good, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"

"I will study and God will provide for us.", the young man replies.

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring?", asks Boudreaux.

"I will concentrate on my studies.", the young man replies, "God will provide for us."

"And children?", asks Boudreaux. "How will you support de children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide.", replies the fiancé.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time Boudreaux asks a question about the young man's future, the young man insists that God will provide.

Later, Clotile asks Boudreaux, "Mais, how did it go, Boudreaux?"

Boudreaux answers Clotile by saying, "Mais, he has no job, and he has no plans, but the good news is ... he thinks I'm God."

Boudreaux died

Well suddenly while fishing Boudreaux died. Marie send his obituary into the newspaper. It said Boudreaux died yesterday while fishing. Well the newspaper people called her and said you can put a little more in the paper. You have 10 lines. So the next day the obituary appeared in the paper: Boudreaux died while fishing yesterday. Boat For Sale.

Boudreaux was dying

Boudreaux was on his last dying breath. He was upstairs in the water bed and was about to slip out of this world, when he smelled it.

The most wonderful smell. Brownies, baking in the oven downstairs.

He struggled out of the water bed. He could not stand up, so he crawled over the stairway and rolled down the stairs. He crawled into the kitchen and pulled himself up to the counter where the brownies were cooling on the rack. He took one and put it to his mouth. Awe that wonderful smell, that wonderful taste.

Marie walked up behind him and said, " Shame on you Boudreaux. Those brownies are for after the funeral."

One day Boudreaux, his wife Clotile, and Boudreaux's friend, Pierre went to the city.

While Clotile went shopping, Boudreaux & Pierre decided to go check out one of them tall buildings.

Inside the building, Boudreaux & Pierre came to these big golden doors.

Boudreaux says,"Wonda wot dees doors lead to?".

So Boudreaux & Pierre stare at the doors for a few minutes until an old woman comes up to the doors. She pushes a button near the door, the doors open, she goes inside, & the doors close.

Boudreaux & Pierre watch as numbers above the door start to change from "1" to "2" to "3", then the numbers stop a while then change again from "3" to "2" to "1". Then the doors open and a beautiful young voluptuous woman walks out!

Boudreaux tells Pierre, "Mais you saw dat!? Hurry up--lets go find Clotile so we can put her in dere!"

You Might Be a Cajun If...

...you sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says "don't eat the dead ones" and you know what he means.

...you keep newspapers not for recycling but for tablecloths at crawfish boils.

...you are not alarmed at finding plastic dolls in your pastry.

...you bring your Community Coffee and coffee maker with you when you travel.

...every so often, you have waterfront property.

...when tailgating, you holler "Tiger Bait" at the other team's fans as they pass by.

...you don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.

...when you're in Baton Rouge you know the difference between the old bridge & the new bridge.

...you offer somebody a "coke" and then ask them what kind: Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, 7Up?

...you were in high school before you realized that Catholic and Public were not the two major religions.

...you think the four seasons are: duck, rabbit, deer, squirrel.

...you plan your wedding around hunting season & LSU football.

...you pass up a trip abroad to go to the crawfish festival in Breaux Bridge.

...you take a bite of 5-alarm Texas chili and reach for the Tabasco.

...you gave up Tabasco for lent.

...you know the difference between Zatarains, Zeringue, and zydeco.

...you know that the best doughnuts are square and have no holes.

...you put "Tony's" on everything.

...your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.

...no matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food.

...you understand it when someone describes their favorite color as K&B purple.
 

Computer Technical Terms

STATE-OF-THE-ART - Any computer you can't afford.

OBSOLETE - Any computer you own.

MICROSECOND - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

SYNTAX ERROR - Walking into a computer store and saying... 'Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.'

HARD DRIVE - The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced 'gooey')

KEYBOARD - The standard way to generate computer errors.

MOUSE - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

FLOPPY - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

PORTABLE COMPUTER - A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

DISK CRASH - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

POWER USER - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

SYSTEM UPDATE - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

386 - The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
 

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